I will NEVER be this badass
Nothing says screw you Surgeon General like the willingness to go to the doctor and say - Yes! I got Avian Flu from having bird titties. What are you going to say to me about that, Doc?
How the hell did I come up with that? Well, I went to the Post Office to pick up a BIG HEAVY BOX and couldn't open the doors myself when I saw this. And I never actually wished for three arms before so I could take a picture - but if I had, THIS would've been the moment.
So, instead you get a picture of my amazed text...you're welcome.
And even better - it totally matched her outfit.
My boys had a tragic where-is-the-player-two-PS3-game-controller search this morning. This resulted in an argument. SURPRISE...not.
"I told Reecie I'm sorry but he didn't even listen," Kaelan informs me.
"So I tried knocking on his head and asking - hey, are you even home?"
"I don't think that's going to make him happier."
My son's Dad bought them cap guns this weekend. They have had a BLAST, and my eardrums might never recover.
"Do I look like Doc Hollandaise?" Reece asks me.
Your Son is all Grown up When...
I'm in my bedroom tidying when my youngest, Reece, comes running in with eyes alight with excitement.
"Well Mom, I finally have a mistress!" he tells me.
At this point I choked.
"Wow! Good for you!" I respond, and let it never be said I am NOT SUPPORTIVE...unless it's from someone's father - then I've never met my son.
"And it only took me three minutes."
"...Your Dad would be so proud, too!" I giggled.
"Well, it did take an extra five minutes. I had to kill some raiders first."
Some Dogs have NO Class
You teach your kids what not to touch and it's icky and why... Sometimes it's satisfying (and hilarious) when you see those lessons have taken hold.
Spock is our Boston Terrier puppy. He's hanging out on the couch - being a dog, when I hear this from Kaelan:
"Ewww Spock! Don't lick your weiner! You don't know where it's been!"